Chapter 10 - Become the Observer
The old sage tells Huo they will go for a walk in the forest today rather than do their meditation and martial arts training. The boy is a little confused and out of kilter as he has become accustomed to the training in the morning to start the day. His first thought is to pick up his pack and take it with them, but he falters and puts it next to the old man's pack - and "so it shall be," says the old man.
Huo felt uncomfortable. In the pit of his stomach was a queasy feeling, which he did not listen to, putting it down to the change in routine.
The old sage led him on a walk through the woods in the dark. It was pitch black, the new moon shining no light on their journey. Still feeling queasy Huo banged his head on a low lying branch; the same branch the old sage ducked under. The old man knew that it was going to be a tough day for the young man, but he had chosen it by not listening to his inner feelings. It would be a great lesson in many ways.
"Huo if you not want to get another bang on your head or lose more skin off your arms I would suggest that you walk with your feelings; obviously your eyes aren't much help in the darkness. With that the old sage took out a piece of cloth and tied it around Huo's head. "Now you will have to go with your feelings."
The young man panicked. He tried to remove the blind fold, but the old sage reached across and grabbed his arm. "Relax," was all he said and the young man took a deep breath and began to imagine what it would be like to walk in the forest blindfolded. At first he could not imagine it, but as he became more relaxed he could actually see the forest in his inner mind. He took a few tentative steps, then a few more, soon he was walking at the same speed as he would be when fully sighted on a bright sunny day. He continued to walk easily through the forest trusting nothing but his inner sight and his feelings.
It was then that the nausea returned. He continued to walk trying to not think about the nausea, but the nausea would not disappear and it was not long before he bumped his head again and started losing bits of skin as he walked into more bushes and trees. Huo stopped and removed the blindfold. It was still dark, although a hint of sun was coming up over the hill. He sat down and closed his eyes and centered his feelings in the nausea. After a couple of minutes a picture began to appear in his mind. It was a picture of their camp and he could clearly see their two packs leaning next to each other. He wondered why he was seeing that when all of a sudden the picture changed and a band of men walked into the camp and they were soon rifling through the packs for anything of value. Huo's heart sank when he realized that the dragonfly pendant, the one that was given to him by his parents before they died in the fire was in the pack and his last physical memory of them was about to disappear. He jumped to his feet, maybe he still had time to get there and fight the men for the pendant, but no sooner had he had those thoughts when he realized in his vision of the men it was still dark; it must have happened hours before and he knew he would never get there in time.
He slumped on the ground in resignation. If he had only brought the pack with him. If he had only tapped into the feeling of nausea earlier then it could have been different. After a few minutes of self pity he sat upright and centered his awareness. He took a few deep breaths and a picture of the bandits appeared in his mind. He sent them love and forgiveness and all the anger that he was holding towards them drifted away. They obviously needed what was in the pack more than he did. It was unfortunate to lose the pendant but his mother and father were deep in his heart. He had learnt a great lesson in the loss of the pendant and that had made it even more special. The old man had taught him to become the observer, but now he knew it was just as important to observe what was going on on the inside. He thanked the Tao for his great lesson and sent a feeling of love out into the world. It was such an expression of love that anybody who had the awareness would have been bathed in its beauty.
Huo opened his eyes and there sitting beside him in deep meditation was the old sage. Huo waited while the old man finished his meditation and came back into this time and space. While he waited he reflected on what he had learnt that day. One surprising observation he made was the incredible control he had allowed others to have on his life; whether it was the bandits who robbed him, the village people who had made him who he was today, everywhere he looked he could see others trying to control what he thought and did. He realized that by not reacting to others and what they did to him; by being the silent observer of his own life, forgiving himself and others who trespassed against him he found that he was free to be person that he wanted to be.
The old sage just smiled; his apprentice was now free from the emotions and expectations of others. One day he might even give him back the pendant that he removed from the pack when they left the camp that morning.
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